Nothing Could Prepare Me For Today

So I have days in Real Estate that are good and really bad. Occasionally I do property management. If you have a landlord, well that’s me but I am sometimes more than just that Ogre on the phone telling you to pay your rent, etc. Today I picked up the phone and asked why the Mother hadn’t paid their rent in the middle of the month. Set to handle the objection, the Mother on the other end started sobbing and I mean the type of sobbing that hurts to listen to.I could tell it was real pain. I ask, “what happened?…She says, “My daughter shot herself this weekend and I haven’t had time to get the rent in. I’m just not sure I can get to that right now.”

What can I say? There is no script or objection handling that covers that. So I just said, “I’m so sorry for your loss. We’ll talk at another time.” and I hung up the phone. Nothing in Real Estate prepares you for that kind of conversation.

Today was one of those days I just didn’t feel good about what I do, so I went home and hugged my daughter and told her how much I love her and appreciated her.

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Reflections of my Father..

My Father

Way back when, a long time ago that seems like just yesterday, I remember on many occasions coming home at night and seeing my father slumped back in his living room chair sound asleep…almost catatonic…with the TV blaring.  I was a teenager. I always had things to do, people to see, places to go. I mean what teenager didn’t? And of course I had a curfew.

I didn’t particularly like that I had a curfew but I understood its place in my life, its importance and I almost always kept my end of the deal. Many times while out with friends or hanging out around the corner at the Waffle House or cheering at a Friday night basketball or football game or just spending the evening playing spades with my best friend Julie, I’d almost always had to race home before my time expired.

As the clock struck that bewitching hour I would turn the key in the front door lock and quietly step over the threshold and into my house. And every time almost simultaneously…I would hear that TV…blaring…and I always knew that just on the other side of the foyer stairs in the TV room my father would be there.

I can still see him there. His balding shiny head arched backwards. His 5 O’clock shadow coming in just below his cheek bones. His drooling mouth slightly open. His snores light and raspy. His big belly rising up and down. The television screaming at him and echoing throughout the quiet still house.

Same old scene…time after time.

I’d turn the TV off and approach his chair. He looked so peaceful. I almost hated waking him up but he had to go upstairs. My hand reluctantly reached out and touched his forearm. His snores more audible and louder now. I’d lean into him and gently say, “Dad…time to go bed.” He never heard me the first time. I’d shake his forearm again…this time more forcibly and repeated in a more urgent louder voice, “Dad…it’s late…you need to go to bed.”

Slowly his eyes would flutter open. His interrupted snores made him snort while gasping for a little air. He seemed confused at first as he reached consciousness and his body jerked forward in his chair. He’d look straight at me…vaguely recognizing me. Finally his eyes focused and he seemed to understand what was going on.  He would smile at me and say, “Oh I must have dozed off.”

I gave him a moment or two and finally he’d leaned forward, set each hand on the arms of chair and pull himself up. I would stand for a moment in front of him and made sure he was awake enough to walk. Then I’d follow him out of the TV room. I’d tell him good night and he would do the same. He’d make a right into the kitchen to get a glass of milk. I would turn left to head upstairs to my bedroom.

I miss those days.  I miss my dad.

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Icona Pop – I love it!! Words of Advice for an Ex

Have a listen – Icona Pop “I Love It”

Why can’t people just respect wishes? Why don’t they just listen and leave it alone? Not sure. I guess that’s just the human element in effect. ” I have to prove my point!” “I’m right and they’re wrong” “They have no right to do that”, “I’m not the one!” and people will do whatever it takes to save face when embarrassed?   Yes especially when that situation is embarrassing. I’ve said those things before and I’m sure you have to.  People now are losing their jobs because of it, and losing credibility, and losing their temper, and even going to jail, etc.

The biggest issue: is I can’t post a pic on facebook without being accused of something. Really? We’re not together anymore, so why don’t you just leave me alone. YES I am out. and YES I will take pictures of me being out. So what. I’m with friends. Oh by the way you can take a picture with someone and not be involved with them or even be dating them. Didn’t you know ? Happens all the time.

So…why can’t people just listen? I had an ex once, well more than once but there is one who just wouldn’t listen or respect my wishes. Why not? Then try to make me feel wrong for you not listening. So like I said before. Now I Don’t Care.

You keep bugging me after I said don’t text me anymore and leave me alone. You want proof? Here it is:

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So…why did you send me text messages and then say that? I don’t know. I’ve asked you before to not text me and my friends all said, “just let it go”. I really did.  I listened to them. You obviously don’t listen to anyone. So this is just the beginning of what may be a series on my blog if you do not leave me alone.

Here is some good advice:

1.  Go out on a date with someone!!!: Wow! amazing! Awesome!! Super!! Great Advice!!! You have a million guy friends and a lot of girl friends. GO GET SET UP!

2.  Leave me alone. Please.

3.  Stop texting me because I go out and hang out with people I know. You know people. I know people. We know some of the same people. I’m not dating or having sex with those people because I am in a picture with them. I will however be in the same room with them and I may take a picture with them. GET OVER IT.

4.  Please listen to your friends. Your real ones if you have any. They will tell you to move on, like my friends did (even my female friends). I have moved on and I have no interest in you. You’ve had your chance. It’s over.

So by the way my dear ex, if you would just leave me alone, your new nickname will not be Sharon Stone. If you don’t everyone will know what I mean.

 

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I just met Taylor Swift at Milktooth

I have to admit, I am a foodie. I don’t spend a lot of time eating at amazing Iron Chef quality restaurants like a lot of friends I know on Facebook. I mean they have the ability to go visit those Iron Chef, 5 star restaurants and experience food most do not. So yes call me Jealous or green with envy cause I am. Cooking is something I love to do. I actually like being in the kitchen and making different things. I am the same way with Wine and Alcohol. So if we play a word association game, I say “Opus One” you say ______???. if I say “Rocky Mountain Blackberry Flavored Brandy” you say ______??. I might even say Louis XIII and you would say _____??.  You can put what you want or play the same with Food and Restaurants.  I’ve even experienced “The Chefski” and his food is amazing as well. Everyone has their favorite. I have mine as well. I just love food.

So today I got to visit Milktooth (www.milktoothindy.com) in downtown Fountain Square. I could make the whole blog today by just saying OMG! OMG! OMG! but that wouldn’t do it justice. So Jonathan Brooks, I’m just not a food Blogger so I can’t possibly use those big foodie words to describe the food. It’s just amazing and a great experience. This is just my point of view on an otherwise excellent place to eat and experience. Not the ordinary. Attentive wait staff (hard to find) and Not a chain. Our server Bridget is genuinely a great server. An empty plate doesn’t sit in front of you for more than a couple minutes. She constantly comes back and checks on you. The music, the Food, the Drinks, the atmosphere, the Standing Room only 1 hour wait (see pics), all go towards the fact that this restaurant is just not like the others and definitely not a chain. I was really surprised to see Taylor Swift there (see pic), but this is not eggs and bacon, omelettes and hash browns, or normal pancakes with butter and syrup. This is not The Pancake House or Waffle House. Don’t come here if that is what you are looking for. This is food that goes above the normal. The flavors match and the food is awesome.

So thank you Jonathan Brooks for bringing food into the 21st Century. Indianapolis has too many chains that are just the same as thousands of other restaurants in the country. You can’t say it compare to anything else. The long waits at the entrance show that. So why do I care? Why do you care? My blog is about me and my experiences. It’s about what I go through. It’s my daily journal so my daughter can go back and read about what I have experienced and been through in my life. I appreciate good food and other things. I appreciate life and all it has to offer. I love new experiences and I have a new attitude for 2016, and I got to meet Taylor Swift (small chuckle).

I wonder what she is thinking about??

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Taylor Swift

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“Until then …”

Lately I been struggling. With many things. Mostly life, well my life to be exact. Many days I have trouble just getting up because I sometimes know the kind of day I’m going to have. Its just there and I hate it. No matter how much I talk to God or plead or ask, it just happens. I have a tough day ahead.

I should be thankful for what I have, right? I mean I have my health and I have a beautiful child, smart kid, I have a place to stay, I have a car that runs. Sometimes I just don’t care about what I have. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have what I have. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t a dad. Is that wrong? Am I selfish? Am I crazy.

You know I look at what is going on around me. Not really what’s happening in the world but what’s around me locally. I see people who are successful and I see happy people. I see people in relationships and are dating, eating out, going places. Everyone seems to be doing so well. and then there’s me. My self is just not cutting it. And I don’t like me very much lately.

I seem to be missing something. Empty feelings, empty heart. Been stepped on and just want to fight everything I feel. I tend to get withdrawn and that’s just how I deal with my self. I really want something, well one thing and I cannot seem to find it. I think what I want is just to be held. Will someone come and just let me be held? Then I heard this song.

Yes, life has hit me out of nowhere and I’m barely holding on. I mean right now. Yes I have yet to recover from some of the things life has done to me. I may never recover. I may just give up. You know toss it all in and leave it all behind. I will be better off, right? No? Yes? What’s the point. Still gotta get through. Are there better days ahead? Tomorrow’s not promised so the answer is no. So what do I do. I’m tired of fighting. I’m bound by my control.  I surrender, but not to my self.

Is there freedom in surrender? I don’t know. I haven’t learned to let things go. I’m not much for being on my knees cause right now an answer is too far away. I don’t like being alone and that’s my problem. Truth is I’m not alone, I just don’t share, so few know what I go thru!! To say my world is falling apart is an understatement, it’s not is it? Actually it’s falling in to place. Deals are happening and I’m making things happen.

I love this song. I hum it. I sing it. I think it. I love the harmony. It makes me wish I could sing. Heck, I’m listening to it right now. It’s my theme for this year. Takes trust to do what it says. Stop holding on and just be held. I’m working on it. I fall daily. I live with regret. I contradict my self. I argue and fight with me. I hate me. But there is someone who is out there and telling me, “just hold on”. I think I will do that this year. Haven’t done it much in the last couple years but it’s time for a change. So yes God, I’m holding on. But can you please send someone my way who can let me just be held? Good!

Until then, I’m holding on to just be held.

 

 

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I might turn into Grumpy Cat because My social life just does not matter!!!

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So glad it finally snowed! Along with the snow comes the freezing weather. I had to make my daughter go to bed because she thought she would have a 2 hour delay.  Bella had a sleepover this weekend.  One of her best friends – Abbey. Funny how the kids always come first. My social life does not matter when my daughter wants to have a sleepover and its my weekend. You know I miss a lot of parties and fun things. In fact I spent the better part of a week trying to think of ways to get out of “babysitting” the sleepover, but I just couldn’t justify it.

I have never really been fond of giving up my time with my daughter when I do have her. I do have custody of my daughter and the time is precious, especially as she is entering the pre-teen phase of life and getting ready for high school years. I always have tons of questions for myself as a single dad. Am I doing enough? Am I tough enough? Am I strict enough? Should I allow her to spend more time away from me? Is she being exposed to things that are not safe?  Am I going crazy?

This weekend, I got caught up on the Showtime series, “Shameless” and a lot of thoughts came flooding in after watching the series. Some of the questions that I just put in my last paragraph popped up in my head.

So what party did I miss? Was it really that important that I go to another party and blow off my weekend with my daughter? Will I be missed? Will I turn into a Grumpy Cat if I don’t go? Does anyone really care if I show up? My final thought is I will never get another moment back that I lose with my daughter. You can’t ever get those back. I can always go to another party.

You know my social life just doesn’t matter!!!

 

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My daughter Arabella

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So this is Arabella, my daughter. She turned 12 last year and she is an awesome kid!! I love her very much. She has a lot of talents and is very smart. One of her favorite Restaurants is Steak and Shake. Didn’t realize she had hijacked my phone and created this video with her friend Lilly. You got me on this. Hope you like it.

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10 Reasons I want to be a UPS delivery driver

So every year I try to do something different with my life. I like to keep it interesting.  This year I chose to be a seasonal driver’s helper for UPS. Why? well I needed to get back to being service oriented and developing some gratitude for what I have in my life. It turned out to be the best thing I could have done for myself.  Here’s why: I believe that by serving others you get to know what it means to be selfless. You have to maintain some sort of humility and you have to stay positive Lastly, it keeps you in great shape and at my age, I need all the help I can get. You get paid. It’s good money. I learned a lot while on the job from my driver Margo.

My driver Margo. UPS for 33 years!! Driver for 28 consecutive. Man does she have some stories. Not only was she excellent to work with, we were similar in age, so we got along well, had things to talk about and share. I truly enjoyed my experience with Margo as my driver. Let me tell you, Margo knows everyone!! Well, every time she would see someone in the neighborhoods that we delivered in, she had a story. I was truly amazed at the amount of knowledge inside her brain and the ability to recall a person that she would see just driving by. I looked forward to hearing her say, “So, true story…,” and I know then that a good story was on the way. Almost every day we would stop and deliver to a home and sure enough, Margo had a story about the owner of the home, who they were, what they did, how they made their money, so on and so forth.

The most impressive story told to me by Margo was the story of her knee and how she woke up in the hospital without one.? Well, they took it out and she had to rehab it – twice!! That was a good story. Didn’t knock her down or keep her out. The impressive part of the story was when all of her customers, both residential and commercial picked up and helped her to do things she could not, like clean her house, etc. Her customers actually got together and helped her get back on her feet. Takes a village? Yeah Margo’s got her own.

You know, I could tell that Margo is the kind of person I would want to have as my friend. She will be a great contact for me in the future as I pursue my career in Real Estate for the next several years in my life.

So, I came up with 10 reasons why I would want to be a UPS driver:

  1. It keeps you in shape. Your delivering hundred of packages a day so lots of walking. Miles to be exact. I went from belt loop #1 to #3 in just under a month.
  2. You get to “travel” – many neighborhoods every day. In the morning your in Zionsville at 106th/Michigan. In the afternoon your in Carmel, then up to West Clay, then back through Indy.
  3. You meet a lot of people. We always ask for last name. I had to do it on every delivery. I learned to memorize them.
  4. You make a lot of money.
  5. You see the most beautiful sunsets and sky’s (see pics) almost every day, and yes the SUN is your friend when it comes out to play.
  6. You might meet a lot of famous people, and Margo has the stories to prove it.
  7. Your providing a service that everyone needs.
  8. Dogs hate you and at the same time love you. Oh they wait patiently for the UPS truck. They know a treat is coming. They even sit at the end of the drive until you pull up, but when the truck shows up and their inside – endless barking at you.
  9. Everyone knows your name and who you are.
  10.  The daily espresso we had at Nebo Ridge – YUMM!!!

 
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Me at the job
Me at the job
Craziest tree on the route. Could have been used in a film perhaps.
Craziest tree on the route. Could have been used in a film perhaps.
Beautiful Moon
Beautiful Moon
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Just one of the beautiful house we deliver to

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